Sister, Sister

What an amazing 2 weeks it has been. I turned 29, came out to my father, was damned to hell by grandmother, and have managed to NOT talk to Shay for over 30 minutes so that she can study for the bar exam, all without a single hint of mind numbing panic! My therapist won't recognize me.

How funny, then, that the next item on my to do list is turning out to be a much bigger challenge than I ever imagined. You see, I'm going to ask my big sister to be in my wedding. I love my big sister. She has been my role model in every sense of the word. From Michael Jackson fanhood to Coogi sweater dresses, if L did it, it was gold in my mind. She doesn't exactly feel the same way about me. Ok, why am I lying. L couldn't stand my spoiled, whiny ass for the first 18 years. But now she can! In a manner of speaking. Like, she lets me in her bedroom now...

So I need L to be in my wedding. Sure, she's questioned the authenticity of my orientation and belittled my relationship. But nothing in life has ever been cool if it wasn't endorsed by L (white K Swiss included). And my wedding has to be cool. Not just cool. REALLY COOL. Like that birthday party with the giant bounce house in the backyard and cotton candy machine. Yeah, like that.

But she's going to say no. The odds of her taking part in the "abomination" over the objection of my grandmother are about even with odds of snow in the Bahamas tomorrow. Even in the age of global warming, it just ain't happening.

I love my sister. She means so much to me. I'm afraid that I don't mean enough to her.

Hopeless